you’ve got to get rid of it…..it’s gotta go…..

i know that i’m a ceramic hoarder….it goes hand in hand with owning a kitchen store which turned into a functional art, gifts and accessories boutique for 27 years….and probably has to do a little with the fact that i’m a.d.d……i just cant get rid of stuff…..and everytime we have a party at the house i tend to throw things in the pantry on top of other things which are balancing on top of other things and then the next time i need something of course i can’t find it but then i go and organize a bit…in the 15 minutes of spare time that i have……and i find all this kool stuff…..i once  read somewhere that the rule of thumb for getting rid of stuff is…..if you look at something and it makes you smile or happy …..keep it….my problem is that if it didnt make me feel good i wouldnt have brought it home in the first place so obviously just about everything i have in my pantry i love…..it either reminds me of a specific time in my life or its just so kool why would i want someone else to have it….i know thats very selfish of me but i have to be selfish with some things…..don’t i……well maybe i can get rid of a few things….i seem to have a few items that i do believe people have brought over for a party and left….so i’ll start there…..

i’ve had an epiphany!

i’ve had an epiphany…..i know it’s a big word for me….i definitely had to look it up to make sure it was spelled correctly….i’m not sure i even like my epiphany…..but there it was……hitting me right smack in the face….at the age of almost 62…..yes i’ll admit it…..can’t believe i’ve lived this long….i never thought i’d make it past 50….i was the sole parent of 2 kids …2 very intelligent…very active kids with some very special obstacles…..i even went as far as to write each one of them letters in case of my early demise…..but here i am 61 and 3/4 it’s 5:04 a.m. and i’m under the covers with a pillow  over my head so the light from my phone doesn’t wake up terry or our 4 little doggies……and i have to tell the world my epiphany…..

i am not super woman any more…..

no thats not right…..i do not have to be super woman anymore……it’s very difficult for me to allow myself to come to this conclusion…..but here i am….naked to the world…..i can not continue to act upon all the amazing and creative ideas that i have in my head…..i just can’t do everything and be everywhere….there i’ve said it……i admit it…..now what…..at first i felt like i would be letting down the people around me…..all the plans i had for things with my new store…..using store bought mashed potatoes at thanksgiving instead of making my own…..actually i’ve let other people bring part of the thanksgiving meal instead of doing it all myself….that was one of the easy ones…..but not doing every single thing that came into my brain for my new store…..at least not all at once….for instance…..having a little coffee bar in the store where customers can make themselves a cup of coffee and have one of my famous oatmeal cookies…..or having classes on the back patio…..which i will still do just not right this minute…..too many obstacles with the city of scottsdale…..and to my amazement people are ok with it…..well maybe not the store bought mashed potatoes…..but let’s focus on the first important thing….getting the store running and then i can conquer each one…..wow ….do one thing at a time…..what a concept….well in my case i’ve narrowed it down to 4 things at a time…..omg i pushed something and accidently published this before i was ready to….now i have to keep coming back and updating it….,

here’s to a sweet new year! 

i went to temple last night for rosh hashana…..the jewish new year…..5777…..it’s one of my favorite of the holidays……but my daughter and i have decided we need to start our own temple…..part of being jewish is about tradition……and tradition is passed from generation to generation…..but it seems that everyone feels the need to modernize the music to our prayers….you grow up singing these beautiful solemn prayers and hymms that touch deep within your soul…..but in the last ten years or so the music seems to have different tunes……and how can you join and sing these hymns with 3 generations of your family when music has been updated……going to temple on rosh hashana and yom kippur the day of atonement…..has always moved my soul….it is time to reflect on the past year  ……on our actions, right our wrongs, and refocus ourselves for the New Year….to re gain strength for the coming year….and to me the singing of prayers is so moving…..so why does the music need to be updated…..it becomes a congregation that cannot participate in the recitation because one doesnt know the tune….and i come away at the end of the service wondering why rather then feeling a cleansing and recharging of my soul……so next time i find myself in the presence of a rabbi…..any rabbi i must ask…..what the hell happened here….where is the tradition……

winter is my color

i love winter…..well as close as we get to winter which for most people it would be fall….thats because i’m in arizona……but thats beside the point here…..winter is my color….I can layer clothes which covers up more….which makes me feel…well maybe even a little bit sexy….but my whole personality changes….i feel good about myself…..loosing 14 lbs. has helped…..putting on a great pair of boots….who cares if i’ve had a pedicure lately…..a nice pair of jeans….a long top….in my favorite color black….very slenderizing…..and a light weight jacket……which compared  to summer here…shorts, top and flip flops……everything is out there right up front….leaves nothing to the imagination……

holy moley……its 2:00 in the morning and i must have dosed off or as some say i was resting my eyes….dropped my phone on my face….looked up and some how this got published….you know……went live…..i wasnt even done…..how does that happen….but now i know how cell phones can cause injuries…..try falling asleep while holding one above your face….its a rude awakening….i think i broke my nose…..

is that sleep apnea……a question from the peanut gallery on the other side of the bed…..what? being on the phone at 2:00 a.m……no its old age…i had to go to the bathroom and i come up with some of my best stuff in the middle of the night…..sorry if it’s bothering you…..well it is very bright but i wasnt sleeping much anyways….oops sorry…..do you think thats a hint….see now if thus was still a draft i’d save it turn off the phone and come back later and finish it….well probably not…..but it really had a great beginning…damn now my hand is falling asleep…why cant the rest if my body do the same thing……

#winterismycolor #dontwakethehusband #gottopee 

boobage

ok so i just have to talk about boobs today…..im not sure why it popped into my head but it did…..and once something starts it just keeps going and going and going….kind of like the ever ready battery……so if talking about boobs offends you please stop reading….although if boobs offend you then you wouldnt be reading my blog at all…..as long as i can remember which is somewhere in my early twenties i have always been proud of my boobs…..luckily i took after my mom and not my dad…..ive had cleavage and i loved wearing scoop necked t shirts and tanks and anything that showed them off….but not too slutty…..but as i get older and so do they ive been noticing other womens boobs….mostly smaller ones….now im not weird i know there has to be some among you other then the men reading this who notice other womens boobs…..there’s nothing wrong with it and you dont have to be attracted to other women to do it……but as mine get older and lower and i start to wear a push up bra just to keep them where they used to be…..ive noticed that my t shirt necks are getting higher…..im a side sleeper so ive started to also notice early in the morning creases down the middle of my chest from laying on my side which causes one boob to crowd the other…..so back to my noticing other womens boobs…..how nice it would be to have smaller boobs….i could wear a button down tshirt and leave alot of the buttons open and appear alluring without having to worry about something popping out……i could wear a backless dress or one that is low cut and not have to wear a bra at all…..showing my sexy back…..well only if i lost another 20 lbs……so you women out there with smaller boobs…..be proud……when you get much older you’ll be glad because they’ll be right where they started…..there actually were alot more thoughts racing thru my head but that started to be tmi….too much information….so thats all i have to say about boobs……

ok so since ive written this ive noticed everywhere i go if i have a scooped neck or tank top on i keep pulling it up…..do i look like a 60 year old hoe……nice name for slut…whore…for those that dont do the lingo) also met some people sitting out at the pork shop….thats another whole story… but it came to me…..if i sleep on my back with my lower body elevated and my boobs hanging upwards towards my head 8 hours a night will they head back north from the opposite gravity pull…..

#boobs #gravity #being60

don’t follow me

yesterday after work I hopped in my car…..as I always do….I go to call my husband to tell him I’m on my way….as I always do…..and there was a message on the screen for me…..it was the google maps icon and next to it said something like 24 minutes to get home in normal traffic…..really….who says it’s 24 minutes to get home and how does it know where I live…..where I work…..at first I thought how cool…..I stopped off at the grocery store for a few things and I checked my phone when I got back in the car because my husband says it’s attached to my ear and i wouldn’t want to disappoint him…..and the same icon popped up and said 9 minutes to get home…..now how does my phone know where I work ….where I live….and who is it sharing this information with….definitely not my family because I made sure none of them can locate me 24-7….not that I have anything to hide but what if I need to run away from home for awhile….what if I was a young mother with a colic screaming baby and a two year old and left them with my husband who puts on ear phones and just lets them scream…..actually that was my ex husband….but what if he didn’t put on the ear phones and the diapers are dirty and the baby is crying and the two year old wants his full attention and he goes to his phone and sees that your not far from home…even though you still have half an hour of peace and quite and alone time and texts you to come home…..luckily that never happened to me….no cell phones back in the dinosaur age….so I look on my privacy section in settings on my i phone which I believe is manufactured in china….and i go to shared locations and I turn off all the programs and people that it shares this information with….I can even go to my history and see where I’ve been in the past month and how many times i was there…..what if i was stopping at 31 flavors on my way home from work every day for a scoop of rocky road….even though I’m trying to loose weight …..no one needs to know that but me….these are simple funny situations…..but who else is getting all this information….what if my young child has an i phone…well i would never give my kid an i phone….but i do live in an area where some of the kids ….ok a lot of the kids have better phones then me….but if they did and their shared location services was on….can someone tap into their phone and see where they have been or the way they go home….they say it can’t happen but in reality….anything can happen….you just don’t know….so screw them….go into your families phones and go to privacy and go to shared locations…..you can decide who you want to see your locations…..

ok I’m done….it wasn’t a very humorous blog so i did run out of things to say…just straight to the point….this is why i don’t blog about politics or religion or tell you what to do…..how boring would that be….

#donttfollowme #callmyhusband #google maps #privacy

OMG do i feel old…..

I remember the first time I felt old….I think I was in my early 40’s, single….ok divorced…..but still looking pretty good….. my daughter cassie was in her early teens…..she was a dancer in great shape and of course there was a natural beauty about her…..I’m at a loss for words on how to describe her…she never blended in she was always noticed….so we were walking thru fashion square mall…..and I was behind her and I noticed that all the men were now looking at her and not me…..for the first time in my adult life…I felt old…today was the second time…..terry and I decided to stop and have lunch at this new brewery in Scottsdale…looked very busy….so we go in and sit down…..and we start talking and I caught myself saying that it was very loud in here…..oops did I really say that….yuck….how did that come out of my mouth….so I look around and noticed it was a very young crowd mostly in their 20’s….and the servers and bartenders were young and then a man came in and I said to terry oh look there’s someone our age….looked like he was also a biker…..that’s a motorcycle  not a bicycle….and he was with a young lady and I asked terry if he thought that was his girlfriend or his daughter…..omg…..again…..those words just sprang out of my mouth…..and that’s when it hit both of us….we’re old….I mean really….we’re old…..not as old as my parents were when they were 60 but old….people we know have heart attacks and cancer….my dad passed away at 70….that’s only 10 years older then me….I’ve been getting my hair colored for I can’t remember how long….and wearing feathers in my hair and just about a month ago I decided I’m going to let my gray actually silver hair grow in and keep the under side dark and put a few long purple feathers in…but in the meantime I’ve added some lighter almost blonde pieces at the top so as not to notice the silver growing in until it’s in almost all the way….and for the first time in 10 years I have no feathers…..now I’m really feeling old….my daughter is getting married in the spring….I’m thinking if I look in the mirror with silver hair and see myself physically as old I’m going back to dying my hair….but how do I keep my brain and my body from making me feel old…..a lot of our friends are younger then us….is that making me feel even older too…..wow…is this making me sad or what…..I always told my mom you’re as young as you feel…she likes hanging around us because she doesn’t feel old….we take her out to movies and shopping and restaurants and on trips and we have a blast…..she’s definitely not an old 87….that’s another 27 years from now…..am I becoming that old hippie….should I stop here before the dam breaks and the tears flow….

hell no…..I just needed to jump in the shower….blow dry my hair ……put on some make up and a funky outfit and I am back……tomorrows another day……

#imold #youngdaughter #heartattacks #oldhippie