OMG do i feel old…..

I remember the first time I felt old….I think I was in my early 40’s, single….ok divorced…..but still looking pretty good….. my daughter cassie was in her early teens…..she was a dancer in great shape and of course there was a natural beauty about her…..I’m at a loss for words on how to describe her…she never blended in she was always noticed….so we were walking thru fashion square mall…..and I was behind her and I noticed that all the men were now looking at her and not me…..for the first time in my adult life…I felt old…today was the second time…..terry and I decided to stop and have lunch at this new brewery in Scottsdale…looked very busy….so we go in and sit down…..and we start talking and I caught myself saying that it was very loud in here…..oops did I really say that….yuck….how did that come out of my mouth….so I look around and noticed it was a very young crowd mostly in their 20’s….and the servers and bartenders were young and then a man came in and I said to terry oh look there’s someone our age….looked like he was also a biker…..that’s a motorcycle  not a bicycle….and he was with a young lady and I asked terry if he thought that was his girlfriend or his daughter…..omg…..again…..those words just sprang out of my mouth…..and that’s when it hit both of us….we’re old….I mean really….we’re old…..not as old as my parents were when they were 60 but old….people we know have heart attacks and cancer….my dad passed away at 70….that’s only 10 years older then me….I’ve been getting my hair colored for I can’t remember how long….and wearing feathers in my hair and just about a month ago I decided I’m going to let my gray actually silver hair grow in and keep the under side dark and put a few long purple feathers in…but in the meantime I’ve added some lighter almost blonde pieces at the top so as not to notice the silver growing in until it’s in almost all the way….and for the first time in 10 years I have no feathers…..now I’m really feeling old….my daughter is getting married in the spring….I’m thinking if I look in the mirror with silver hair and see myself physically as old I’m going back to dying my hair….but how do I keep my brain and my body from making me feel old…..a lot of our friends are younger then us….is that making me feel even older too…..wow…is this making me sad or what…..I always told my mom you’re as young as you feel…she likes hanging around us because she doesn’t feel old….we take her out to movies and shopping and restaurants and on trips and we have a blast…..she’s definitely not an old 87….that’s another 27 years from now…..am I becoming that old hippie….should I stop here before the dam breaks and the tears flow….

hell no…..I just needed to jump in the shower….blow dry my hair ……put on some make up and a funky outfit and I am back……tomorrows another day……

#imold #youngdaughter #heartattacks #oldhippie