Feeling guilty or just hiding in the bathroom….

so I’m sitting in the bathroom with my friend the robot toilet paper holder who will remain anonymous…..and it’s so nice and quiet I’d love to just stay here for a few hours…..but I’m afraid either my feet will fall asleep or my butt will go numb…..what a day….the store was busy….. I felt bad because I couldn’t spend part of the day with someone I love who is stressed about surgery in a few days and I feel bad because I couldn’t go over to help another person I love when I said I thought I could….but I really couldn’t…. and I’m already feeling bad because of something someone else wants me to go do next year but it just doesn’t feel right……my office is a disaster more then it normally is…..and I’m getting to the point where the brain is running around in circles faster then ever……I really need to stop feeling so guilty about everyone else and start putting the guilt out there for me…..no that never works……and I’m not one to ask for help or purposely make people feel bad or guilty……is there a class for
that….or maybe a weekend retreat to teach those skills……well I’ll take one last deep cleansing breath…..and a few more sips of water so I can head on he to the hubby and 5 dogs who all want my attention at once……just another day in the life of me…..by the way I left the bathroom awhile ago …I put down the phone that is attached to my arm…..and I did flush the toilet and wash my hands……good bye robot toilet paper holder buddy…..good bye quiet….good bye store……do you think all the different characters and robots in the store come to life after I leave and talk about me?

karma

so there was a lot of anger going on it that last little blog…..oye….those of you who know me know that I even though I am a.d.d. I don’t yell, never really get angry…don’t like confrontation…don’t even like to be in an argument with anyone unless you were cassie from the age of I don’t know…birth to 21…just kidding honey you know I love ya…actually I think it was more like 25……but if I do it doesn’t last very long….I am a very patient person….sometimes to a fault I’ve been told….but friday after coming away from the wrong side of the kitchen sink….I was pretty crabby all day…..so I went to meet my family…some of which were in from Chicago….for dinner up at kierland…..yay I could have a drink and hopefully get rid of the crabby me….so I was lucky to find someone pulling out of a parking space right close to the restaurant…..I pulled over a little bit, put my blinker on and waited for them to pull out…..sometimes it takes awhile for people to move their arse….as my mother would say….so the back up lights came on and as they did the car behind me pulls around and stops next to me….so as the car backs out and takes off….the person next to me who I thought was just going around me, pulls in front of me right into the spot…. and of course in the enclosed comfort of my car, which by the way has very large two plates full signs on each side…..I screamed what the f*ck….and then I pulled up behind her and laid on the horn…at that very moment I could see myself jumping out of the car and just wailing on this person….of course I never have and I believe I never would……she rolls down the window of her bmw…nothing against bmw’s….and I said excuse me but I was waiting for that spot….and she says oh I’m so sorry I thought you were just parked there waiting for someone…seriously sister is that all you’ve got…..and then probably from the look on my face she said i’m sorry i’ll pull out….so she pulled out I pulled in went and had my one sangria and dinner…. great conversation and a fun evening as always with the whole family….feeling a bit more relaxed I head back to my car get in…. start it…. up look out my windshield and find that my whole car looks like it had been dive bombed by all the local birds…..so was that karma for me honking at the woman in the car who cut me off…or should I have gone on to look for another parking space and left her bmw to be dive bombed…..which would have been karma for her…..today was such a gorgeous day here in Arizona….low 70’s started out on the motorcycle in the morning with my Harley mcfarley jacket and another light weight jacket that I decorated and ended up just with my tank top and jeans of course….what a great ride….went for breakfast at the hanger at chandler airport with some friends….stopped by san tan flats to quench our thirst ….then rode to chandler Harley….at which  1 of the sales girls came up and asked me if I’m the one that makes the shirts and I said yes and then I told her that I’m making 12 jacket/shirts for arrowhead Harley….then while walking around 2 more employees came up and asked to see my shirt….simple black loose tank with really nice angel wings with a heart on the back and a dia de los muertos figure playing a guitar on the front….better get to making some more stuff to sell rather then wear myself…..actually if I ever get crabby again….all I have to do is sit at my computer like I am now with 4 cute little doggies chewing bones at my feet and asking to get up….actually scratching to get up on my lap for a few hugs and kisses….actually I think they do it to make the other ones jealous so they can steal their bone….smart little diggity’s…..but so cute and loving and sweet and you get relaxed immediately…..yes only 4 doggies at my feet…issue our large dog took advantage of the whole couch to herself…….